I PROMISE! Building your Tower of Trust.

Written by admin on May 4th, 2011. Posted in Tower of Trust

How to Get Your Kids on the Same Page and Build an Amazing Relationship.

There’s a lot to be said for making a point of saying you’ll do something “I promise!” and then sticking to it. If you do that at key points during the day like “Dora is on at 10 o’clock, I promise!” and then at 10am you put the dvd on and say “You see. Here you go, I promised”. Building that Tower of Trust brings a lot of power to your arsenal. Even when the girls are super tired at night and about to lose their minds if I say “I’ll find your teddy bears I promise!” they’ll calm down and let me go around the room and even go downstairs out of sight trusting that I’ll be back…and WITH the bears…because I promised! If you make promises, keep them, and make a point of pointing it out when you do deliver on them. That way if you’re having a tough time with tanties over something they want but can’t receive that very instant (ie. finding their bear, no berries till after dinner,  favourite tv show at the appropriate timing, promising blankey is at home to a tired bub in the car etc) they have a lot more patience and trust in you that will work to your advantage and make your life much more pleasant!

Routines are also a big hitter in your arsenal. Aside from making good on promises, our girls know their routine be it wake, sleep, eat, play, bottles, going for a drive or walk. On days we aren’t out and about, Dora is on at 10 o’clock and Waybuloos are at 11:00. They’ll still ask for Dora at 7am as soon as they get up but if I say in a sincere voice “No girls it’s not 10 o’clock yet. Dora is on at 10 o’clock. It’s only 7 o’clock now. At 10 o’clock we watch Dora”. Then at 10 o’clock I say “What time is it? (pointing to the clock on the wall – a great dual learning opportunity!) It’s 10 o’clock! Time for ??!” and they yell out “Dora!!!” and I say “YES! Dora!!!” Today was another great example of established trust (even in the absence of routine). I had their little slippery slide in the lounge room and they had access to it for a couple of hours but when time came I picked it up to put it back in the garage and said “Finished girls! More again later” and they both said very maturely “Tomorrow. Tomorrow” and relinquished the favoured item from their day. Even though it may not make an entrance again for another couple of weeks, they trust me that I’ll be bringing it back for them some time soon.

I also brought into our arsenal a little gem from ABC 4 Kids show – Grandpa in my Pocket. “Teamwork!” When we all do something together like putting on our shoes and the girls help get theirs on I’ll put out my hand to high 5 and say “Teamwork!”  and they say “Teamwork!” and slap my hand with a great big smile on their face. It’s a real camaraderie that I’m fostering with them rather than “Do as I say”. I use it for a range of things throughout the day but never so much as to cheapen it. One of the loveliest moments I’ve seen and caught at just the right moment, was the  girls stretching out across their cots to high 5 each other saying together “Teamwork!” Just beautiful.

PS: Our girls are now 23 months old.